3 years (33,000 cups of coffee) down(ed)

It has been three years since I started this mission to teach fifth grade at King's, and on the first day I was given a lovely leather journal from the head of school. I think it was supposed to be where we could write prayer requests and then journal to see how God answered our prayers. I turned it into the catch all, my place to write lists, to write my conversations with God, to paste the little notes of encouragement  from fellow teachers and students and to literally scream on paper about the things I couldn't verbalize my first year teaching. This (now worn) leather book was in many ways my link to sanity, and a past life when I had the time to write, reflect and process my thoughts and feelings. If you've known me for any length of time, you'll know I'm in the habit of keeping a journal and have done this on and off since third grade. My early journals had entries like 'We had macaroni and cheese for dinner tonight' or 'I like Jeff an awful lot!', but as of late they have been a chance to reflect on the work that God does in and through me on a regular basis. 

Recently, I came to the last pages of the leather journal. As I sat there and reread all of my heart's yearnings, I realized how much I have truly changed in the past three years, and how faithful God has been in granting me grace and wisdom. It was then that I decided to make a list of all the things that God has done in this short time, and I want to share that list with you. 

-My confidence as a teacher has really grown. I am no longer living in Carol Orr's (the previous teacher) notes, or in her shadow. I've forged my own way, and through God's grace learned how to respond to situations. 

-I am finishing up graduate school. I would have never dreamed of doing something like this my first year of teaching. 

-I'm teaching fifth grade on my own, with no partner teacher, though I do miss the excellent support Diane Massey gave me last year and Jack Savidge my first year. 

-I've had two student teachers (!!), soon to be three. This is humbling, and a true testament to God, coming from the girl who cried during her own first student teaching observation. 

-I don't have the great struggle with classroom management that I had during student teaching. 

-I don't cry on the way to school, or on the way home like I used to. Or when I graded papers, like I used to. Or when I did lesson plans, like I used to. Or at my desk at school every day after school, like I did my whole first year. 

-I can call Terri Maines, Jen Lusk and Mary Borzell by their first names! (But Mrs. E. is still a struggle. Give me three more years at least!)

-I don't accidently ignore people when they call me Miss Beaver. (I still cringe a little every time.)

-I enjoy talking to administrators, instead of peeing my pants the whole time. 

-Calling parents has gotten much, much easier, though I doubt I'll ever enjoy it. 

-I actually ENJOY teaching math, and pull from many textbooks and resources to support my lessons. (Never thought I would say that...I abhor math!)

-I don't stay at school until 7 or 8 every night on a daily basis, and I have evenings during the week that I actually enjoy myself!

Lord, 

Thank you for your wisdom, grace and strength in my life these past years. Your provision of this humbling job is truly awe inspiring. Jehovah Jirah!